Kafeteria Kombat 2
by Spider-2099
Summary: The Outworld Kafe and the food filled khaos is back


The male Elder God looked in his mirror, his face covered in shaving cream. "Where did I put my razor!?" He thought, looking through his drawers. When the god fianally located it, he began shaving.

His wife entered, cleaning up the bathroom. It was then the Elder God remmbered something very important.

"Honey..."

"Yes?"

"...Where did we put the Kombatant Lunch Time whistle?"

His wife face suddenly went white. "....I...I never got it...back." The male god dropped his razor.

Raiden stared eagerly at the whistle. He had hidden it well from his masters for quite sometime now. The last Lunch Time occured only three weeks ago.

"Is it too soon?" Raiden suddenly asked himself. He then remembered the sheer joy and excitement he felt the moment Taven shouted "Food Fight!!"

"Hmm. Nope." He took in a breath, and blew. Again, the same, enormous, bass thick whistling blasted it way through the three realms of Earth, Outworld, and Edenia. The 'chosen ones' all smiled. They then instantly stopped what they were doing and ran to the nearest portal to the great, now more famous Outworld Kafe. Raiden smiled, looked up, and proudly shouted "Lunch Time!!"

At that instant, Shao Kahn entered, smiling and walking happily. Shang Tsung accompanied him, followed by Reptile, Baraka, Mileena, Shinnok, Rain, Quan Chi, and Tanya.

"Its about time, dammit, I'm starving!!" Reptile shouted as part of his routine, but before he could start skipping everyone, Noob and Baraka stepped in front of him.

"Not this time, boy." Noob said in a very threatening tone. "I too was eager for the next Lunch Time. Wait in line like everyone has too!" He yelled at the scaly warrior. Baraka was about to add to Noob's satement until he spotted Mileena and left to join her.

Reptile sucked his teeth. "Well just abondon us!" He shouted. Baraka ignored him. Reptile sighed.

"Well, it seems I have no one to help me strangle you when the Kombat comes." Noob said. Reptile grinned.

"That dosen't mean you're not in trouble." Noob finished. Reptile's grin vanished, replaced with a frown.

Everyone went through the line. Today was again all you can eat, since it appeared as a celebration that Lunch Time was in fact not canceled. Kahn went up to the register. The god servant sighed.

Shao Kahn Kahn was sweating. "...456783? No. 456837? No. 456- -"

"Sit down!' The servant shouted.

Shao whimmpered. "O--okay." He picked up his tray (Which carried the same exact meal on it) and left for the 'evil' side cool-table.

The door swung open. Kitana and Jade both walked in, talking to each other, but none of the fighters already seated could hear what they were saying. Jax, Johnny Cage, and Kung Lao entered a few moments later. Jax looked especially excited, while Cage beared a frown. Kung Lao looked simply calm.

"Raiden, you da man!" Jax shouted at the God of Thunder across the Kafeteria. Raiden grinned and waved to him.

Jax looked back at the frowning Cage. "What's eating you?"

Cage stopped walking and stared at him for a few moments. "We forgot to get- -"

Johnny was cut off by the door swigning open. Taven stepped in, his hands on his hips. The 'evil' side all groaned again.

"Good afternoon, good after --"

"Taven!" Cage called, running over to him.

Taven shot Johnny Cage a dirty look. "Mortal! You have interrupted and destroyed my catch phrase!"

Cage blinked. "Uh...Sorry...I'm also sorry for not coming for you."

Taven chuckled. "Do not sweat it. When I heard the whistle I was just giving my brother Daegon the old one hitter quiter. He's done for."

"Daegon? What'd he do?"

Taven's expression instantly changed from a grin to deadly serious. "He...he ate the last of the Cheez-Its." Taven closed his eyes and shook his head. "I--I do not know how he could commit such an act.."

Taven, Jax, and Cage went through the line, skipping the two female ninjas, and Kung Lao. None of them really seemed to care.

"None of the other guys back home are coming?" Cage suddenly asked.

Taven thought for a moment. "Oh, I think. I only know who one of them is, and its that Earthrealm law enforcer, uh- -Kurtis Stryker."

"Stryker?" Cage asked surprised.

"Yes. He came here last time if you recall."

Cage thought. "Nope. That guy's really...not that noticable. He's kind of a loser..." Taven snickered at Cage's statement.

Taven and the rest of the good guys all looked at the door when it swung back open. Kurtis Stryker stepped in (wearing his Armageddon costume) and scanned the Kafe. "Nice." He whisppered to himself. Small giggles could be heard coming from the evil-side tables. Someone even said "Who the hell is blondy, over there?" That someone happened to be Mileena.

"Hey Johhny Cage." Stryker said.

"Sup." Cage replied, grabbing a tray.

Taven, Cage and the others were already sitting at their cool-table. However, Kitana and Jade shooed Stryker away, claiming he wasn't 'cool' material, and forcing him to sit at the second table alone. "What'd I tell ya?" Cage said to Taven, grinning evilly. Taven grabbed his milk off his tray only to notice the exporation date. "Expires 12/12/00" it read. "Dammit." He thought. "Expired a damn decade ago." He decided not to tell anyone, not wanting to get laughed at. He decided to sucker some one again.

"The nearest person." Taven thought. He was sitting across from Kitana, who was talking to Jade. "Perfect." Taven acted like he was looking over at the door. "BY THE ELDER GODS, IS THAT LIU KANG!?" He suddenly shouted.

Cutting off her own conversation, Kitana spun around. Taven sat up and snatched her milk. Jade saw this, and laughed.

"Not funny, Taven--hey, give that back!" She shouted. Jade, Kung Lao, Jax, and Cage all laughed. Taven threw his head back and let out a deep Shao Kahn-like laugh before he started draining the lifted milk.

"Mmm. This one's definitely not expired." he said with an evil grin.

Kitana frowned at the fact she didn't have anything to drink. Her eyes then shifted to Jade's tray.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." The green-clad ninja muttered.

Kitana looked over Jade's shoulder. "Oh my god, its Tanya!" She said, seemingly dumbfounded.

Jade didn't buy it, and laughed. "You're a terrible liar, Kitana."

"No, I'm absolutely serious! Tanya is sitting next to that punk-rocker looking guy, Reiko!" As Jade didn't know, Tanya was there, sitting next to Reiko, apparently talking about what she has in store for Jade when the Kombat comes.

"Um, Jade?" Taven said. "Is Tanya the little homley looking, yet oddly attractive darker skinned woman in yellow and black?"

Jade looked completely disgusted.

"What? I mean...she's kinda cute...right, Johnny?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure." Johnny said nonchalantly.

Taven groaned and put a hand on his tray, feeling around for his pizza but only felt the cold plastic. He glanced at his tray. Nothing--except the long soured milk. Everyone at the table burst into a fit of laughter. "Raiden!" Taven shouted.

The Thunder God turned around, whipping pizza sauce off his face. "What is it Son of Argus?"

Taven sighed. "Why must I be the target of all your jests? If anyone deserves to have their food swiped, its Shao Kahn."

"Hey, I heard that!" Shao Kahn called. "Make no mistake Son of Argus, I'll kombat you for my hotdogs!" he shouted in strangely childish tone.

Taven grinned at the Outworld emperor. His gaze then shifted to Raiden. He quickly turned and tried to snatch Sub-Zero's hot fudge sunday, but the Lin Kuei warrior pulled it back. "NO!" the Cryomancer screamed in Taven's face.

"Dammit. Sub-Zero is quite overprotective of his food." the Son of Argus thought. He then immidiately turned around and snatched Jade's Edenian pie out of her hands, just as she was about to feast. "Edenian pie is quite the treat, Thunder God." Taven said with an evil smile.

"Give it back!" Jade ordered. "Please! I haven't ever had one before!"

"Really?" Raiden said, amused. "I haven't tried it, but--"

"You're about to!!" Taven shouted before launching the pie at Raiden. It splattered all over the Thunder God's grinning face.

Taven jumped up on the table. "FOOD F--" he was cut off when another Edenian Pie landed in his face. Taven fell off the table.

"That was for taking my milk!" Kitana shouted as everyone in the Kafe' laughed as hard as they could. "FOOD FIGHT!"

The food chaos would be worse this time. Entire cakes sailed through the air. Taven had decided to make Kitana pay. He made his way to the giant punch bowl--and dumped the fruit juice all over Edenia's princess. "NO! MY OUTFIT!! MY HAIR!!" Kitana screamed amidst the chaos. "YOU BASTARD!" Taven then actually got scared, but before he could make a run for it, the Edenian woman vigorously clapped his head in between two large cakes.

Tanya splattered a large plate of Spaghetti all in Jade's face. The green-clad woman retorted by pulling out the waistband of Tanya's undergarment and pouring steaming hot coffee down her underwear. Kitana forced a raw frozen fish into Mileena's mouth. Sub-Zero had secretly gathered all the ice cream from the back. His first victim would be Quan Chi. He froze the sorcerer in place and pelted him in the face, sunday after sunday. Taven had slammed Shao Kahn's face into just about every cake in the Kafe'. Reptile spilled milk on the floor and tricked Noob into slipping on it, sending the wraith crashing into one of the food tables.

The chaos would go on for another twenty minutes.

"Lord Raiden." the male Elder God sneered. "I thought I told you this was not to happen again."

Raiden looked downward. Every piece of clothing on his torso was missing, and his white pants were badly stained with punch, ice cream and hot fudge.

"Lunch Time is no more. You shall not disobey us again." the woman Elder God said.

"Yes, masters." Raiden said with a frown. The Elder Gods vanished.

Taven walked up. His entire armored suit was absent. The Son of Argus was walking around in his briefs. His face was covered with chocolate from cake and pieces of pie. His chest was covered in ice cream (thanks to Sub-Zero of course). "So...now more Lunch Time for good this time, huh?"

"...I'm afraid so." Raiden said.

Shao Kahn and the bad guys came out. "Haha! Another great Lunch, Thunder God!" the Outworld emperor said cheerfully. "Until next time!" he and the of the villains began leaving.

Taven groaned. "Oh, well. Bye Raiden."

"Bye, Taven."

Taven walked next to Kitana, Jade, Kung lao, Stryker, and Jax. Each of them were filithy and covered in ice cream.

"Sub-Zero really went nuts with the sundays." Cage snickered.

"Man, I know." Stryker said. "He kept hitting me in the face with them, I could hardly breathe." Johhny and Jax laughed.

Jade's face was red from laughing her ass off. "Oh my god, you guys should've seen Tanya when I dumped that coffee down her underwear!"

"Fresh from the maker?" Jax asked. Jade nodded. "Ouch."

Jade laughed so hard, she threw herself foward, and would've fell if Kitana had not caught her. "Damn Jade, calm down."

"Dude!" Johhny said glancing at Taven. "Where are your clothes!?" Everyone looked at the Son of Argus and busted out laughing.

"What?" Taven said. "My suit was completely showered in a...variety of desserts and treats."

"Hey look at his shorts!" Jax said pointing at Taven's briefs, which had the logo of the game "Halo 3" all over them.

"What?" Taven repeated. "You guys don't play Halo?" This only made Cage and Jax laugh harder. "Hey." Taven said. "If any of you are ever on Xbox Live, my Gamertag is "SonOfArgus". I'll kick your ass at Halo 3. And father just got me ODST." Now Jade, Kitana, Kung Lao, and Stryker had joined in on laughing at Taven.

* * *

There you have it. And no, I do not like Halo but I thought it'd be pretty hilarious since Taven's suppose to be protecting Edenia and he's playing video games.


End file.
